Most moms and dads think they are either the best or the worst parents around (and both are wrong).

Here’s a fairly typical example of what gospel-centered attempts at parenting can look like in action (by Kevin Deyoung, a pastor):

Me: What’s the matter son?
Child: I want that toy and he won’t give it to me!
Me: Why do you want the toy?
Child: I don’t know.
Me: What’s going on in your heart when you desire that toy?
Child: I don’t know.
Me: Think about it son. Use your brain. Don’t you know something?
Child: I guess I just want the toy.
Me: Obviously. But why?
Child: I don’t know.
Me: Fine. [Mental note: abandon “why” questions and skip straight to leading questions.] Do you think he is having fun playing with the toy right now?
Child: No.
Me: Really?! He’s not having fun? Then why does he want that toy in the first place?
Child: Because he’s mean.
Me: Have you ever considered that maybe you are being mean by trying to rip the toy from his quivering little hands?
Child: I don’t know.
Me: What do you know?
Child: I don’t know!
Me: Nevermind. [I wonder how my brilliant child can know absolutely nothing at this moment.] Well, I think taking the toy from him will make your brother sad. Do you like to make him sad?
Child: I don’t know.
Me: [Audible sigh.]
Child: He makes me sad all the time!
Me: Well, I’m getting sad right now with your attitude! [Pause, think, what would Paul Tripp do?  Thinking . . .  thinking . . . Man, I can’t stop thinking of that mustache. This isn’t working. Let’s just go right to the Jesus part.] You know, Jesus wants us to love each other.
Child: I don’t know.
Me: I didn’t ask you a question!
Child: [Pause.] Can I have some fruit snacks?
Me
: No, you can’t have fruit snacks. We are talking about the gospel. Jesus loves us and died for us. He wants you to love your brother too.
Child: So?
Me: So give him the toy back!

Then I lunge for the toy and the child runs away. I tell him to come back here this instant and threaten to throw the toy in the trash. I recommit myself to turning down speaking engagements on parenting.

Read the whole post, which is encouraging. A couple of lines that stood out:

  • The quip cited by Alistair Begg:When I was young I had six theories and no kids. Now I have six kids and no theories.”
  • And from Kevin’s church secretary: “Most moms and dads think they are either the best or the worst parents around, and both are wrong.”

Here is Kevin’s upshot:

I just know that the longer I parent the more I want to focus on doing a few things really well, and not get too passionate about all the rest. I want to spend time with my kids, teach them the Bible, take them to church, laugh with them, cry with them, discipline them when they disobey, say sorry when I mess up, and pray like crazy. I want them to look back and think, “I’m not sure what my parents were doing or if they even knew what they’re were doing. But I always knew my parents loved me and I knew they loved Jesus.” Maybe it’s not that complicated after all.

 

VOTE: trade 7 incomplete reasons for one (possibly) good one.

“Who can endure a doctrine which would allow only dentists to say whether our teeth were aching, only cobblers to say whether our shoes hurt us, and only governments to tell us whether we were being well governed?”
—C.S. Lewis

It’s not too late to vote! I hope you are an informed voter, doing research and weighing the sides of the issues, and of the character and policies of the candidates.

In the spirit of Election Day, here are seven poor reasons to vote, and one (possibly) good reason, by Kris Zyp (my bro-in-law).

I repost these with his permission (I think). All words are his [with some commentary by me, JP].

  1. “He (or she) is an idiot” – Politics easily devolve to an ugly game of character defamation which often have little to do with the real issues. Getting lured into the bickering not only distracts us from the real issues, but encourages the campaign and rhetorical negativity, that we pretend to detest. If you are falling for the name-calling, bashing, and drama, you are the reason for the wretched campaigns on display in America.
  2. “It’s my Civic Duty” – Perhaps the most commonly accepted, yet blatantly illogical idea in America is that two people can vote for opposing candidates (or issues), precisely canceling each other out, and both make a net positive civic contribution. When it comes to voting, Americans tend to mistake a right for duty. When we pretend that a right is a duty, we distort and dilute the privilege of that right. Failing to grasp the difference between a right and a duty undermines the value of our rights. [JP adds: I tend to think of it as your responsibility, given as a right or privilege. Duty in our day implies drudgery and doing the bare minimum and nothing more.]
  3. “Democracy depends on it” – Democracy relies on statistically accurate sampling, equal representation, and informed voters. In any federal election, even 0.1% voter turnout (real turnout is vastly higher) is more than enough for statistical accuracy. Thanks to numerous suffrage movements, most people have at least some representation. Poorly informed voters reduce the collective intelligence of the vote. However, you can contribute to democracy if you are representing an under-represented people (like minorities), or happen to be an unusually well-informed voter. (Kris wrote a post on this a few years back.)
  4. “It’s Christians’ duty to vote, to preserve a Christian nation” – The Bible says nothing remotely close to this. Governments, by their nature, are founded on coercion and power, precisely the opposite of the way of cross, servanthood, and humility. The Kingdom of God does not rest on a political nation. [JP adds: while I believe some of the founding fathers were committed Christians, and most believed in a personal Creator, there is not a Gospel-centric orientation to the founding documents. Religion shaped their their vision of the New World, yet I surmise it was less about establishing a “Christian” nation and more about leaving behind the quasi-“Christian” nation they fled. Was the United States ever a Christian Nation? That is a question worth thinking deeply about some more.]
  5. “Fear” – Fear tends to drive us to being irrational. There may be some people in history that truly faced dangerous circumstances if someone was elected. Unfortunately, exaggerating our circumstances to pretend that we are facing something similar to the holocaust or other large scale tragedies only makes a mockery of those who truly facing a desperate plight. The only people that come close to a real reason to fear the outcome of the results of a modern election in the US aren’t citizens, so they don’t have a vote anyway. [JP adds: anger is misplaced insecurity acted out on others. Do your fears drive you to trust God, or hate others?]
  6. “I am better (or worse) off than 4 years ago” – Economics is a complex field with hundreds of indicators, and countless influences. The government’s influence is just one, and is furthermore defined by a myriad of politicians, compromising, and crafting numerous policies. Making an evaluation based on a single sampling falls far short of any real economic analysis. [JP adds: what passes for “values voting” these days is often people voting with their wallets first. That’s their value: themselves. That’s an incomplete reason. If you have plenty but vote just to raise or keep your standard of living — but not raise your standard of giving — you may want to check yourself before you wreck yourself [selfish-foolish-greed].]
  7. “If you don’t vote, you don’t have any right to complain” – Nope. This is completely backwards, let’s get it straight: If anyone has earned a right to anything, it is those that stand up for justice the other 364 days that truly have a compelling claim on the right to vote on election day. [JP adds: voting is a vital part of democracy, in concert with the other strands we pursue every other day.]


One (Possibly) Good Reason:

  1. When injustice is taking place, when people are being exploited or unfairly disadvantaged, when their rights are being deprived, without power of recourse, we should stand up for them. If voting can be effectively used as one of the tools to stop injustice, to give voice to the disenfranchised and oppressed, voting can then be virtuous and noble use of this important and valuable right.

Well said, Kris. Still chewing on it. Need to finish my ballot.

Of the reasons above, which do you tend to slip toward? 
 

Self-giving beyond ourselves.

Quote

What hope do we have of becoming generous people?

The same hope we have at death is the hope we cling to in this life.

Watch (or click through to see video):

From question 1 in the New City Catechism:

Q1: What is our only hope in life and death?

That we are not our own but belong, body and soul, both in life and death, to God and to our Savior Jesus Christ.

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Guidance.

Quote

For since the world began,
no ear has heard
and no eye has seen a God like You,
who works for those who wait for Him! (Isaiah 64:4 NLT)

The LORD says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life.
I will advise you and watch over you. Do not be like a senseless horse or mule
that needs a bit and bridle to keep it under control.” (Psalm 32:8, 9 NLT)

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Greatness: keep my eyes to serve, my hands to learn.

You were cold as the blood through your bones
And the light which led us from our chosen homes
Well, I was lost

And now I sleep
Sleep the hours that I can’t weep
When all I knew was steeped in blackened holes
I was lost

Keep the earth below my feet
For all my sweat, my blood runs weak
Let me learn from where I have been
Keep my eyes to serve and hands to learn
Keep my eyes to serve and hands to learn

And I was still
But I was under your spell
When I was told by Jesus all was well
For all must be well
—Mumford & Sons, “Below My Feet” from Babel

Here Mumford & Sons perform “Below My Feet” on Saturday Night Live:

Mumford & Sons at Hyde Park (July 2nd, 2011)

While Mumford & Sons is not an overtly “Christian” band, their appeal with the “youths” cannot be underestimated. (The video above is from their recent show on Saturday Night Live.) They sing of the angst of maturing, of pain and joy, pleasure and loss. Their lyrics are honest. Which is probably why I resonate most with this West London band that seemed to come out of nowhere. In a brief trip to their hometown last year Kari and I ventured into Hyde Park to listen from afar to their concert. When the rains set in we headed out, but not before witnessing thousands (tens of thousands?) of twenties congregating to see Mumford and an opening act by Arcade Fire.

The last few years have been a journey for my feet, and my heart. Both feet have chronic plantar fasciitis, yet running has become the best thing for my ailing back. It’s a tight rope of stretching, running, resting, enduring. Grateful for an understanding wife who gets it when the weather turns and I’m hobbling around like an eighty-year-old man. It’s a wonder how inexplicably linked one’s spiritual vitality is connected to physical health.

Mumford & Sons’ first album Sigh No More became a heart-grabbing soundtrack for most of my runs, long and short. As my feet (and back) rehabilitated to becoming a runner again, songs like “The Cave” and “Little Lion Man” (warning on language) helped pushed me up the hills time and time again. Finishing a half-marathon — without injury — became a running goal, alongside renewing my heart to be a man after God’s heart. It’s fitting that disciplining one’s body goes alongside finding joy and freedom before the Father (1 Cor. 9:27). Come to think of it, on that half-marathon a few days ago I didn’t listen to a single Mumford tune. Not enough steep hills I guess. They trained me well to not rely on them too much, for I have “learned from where I’ve been.” Continue reading

 

Challenges we face working in God’s shop.

“Your work is a very sacred matter. God delights in it, and through it he wants to bestow his blessings on you. This praise of work should be inscribed on all tools, on the forehead and faces that sweat from toiling.”
—Martin Luther

On Sunday, 9/23 the Renew family shared collective thoughts on the challenges and opportunities we face in our work. Then we talked about what it means to be “At Work in God’s Shop” (on Colossians 3:16-17, 3:22-4:1).

Challenges at work:

  • working with family
  • time management (pulled too many directions)
  • adults acting like kids
  • being “honest and nice” at the same time
  • lack of resources
  • being obedient when it’s not your passion
  • showing respect for poor (“inept”) bosses
  • working with volunteers (lack of self-starters)
  • too many bosses
  • feeling like my work is insignificant

GOD IS MOVING….

  • As I find significance in the mundane
  • to help me have integrity
  • to be light hearted &use humor to impact people
  • noticing the God encounters with people
  • Giving words & opportunities to love on people

Continue reading

 

On job snobbery & status anxiety

What do you do for a living?

That’s what our modern world values most, and thus that’s usually the first question asked in a first meeting.

But what if we viewed people as more valuable than what they do for a living?

Here’s an explanation that simultaneously depressing, insightful and inspiring:

Together we can defeat the power of status through imaginative love.

[HT: 22 Words]