Intimacy requires courage. (Not becoming emotional introverts.)

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Last weekend I spoke at our men’s retreat on becoming godly, spiritual leaders. We took aim at three profiles after setting the groundwork of the Gospel:

  1. FACE DOWN: A Kingdom & a King (Isaiah 6:1-13) [Friday night]
  2. UNLIKELY WARRIORS: unashamed courage (2 Timothy 1:1-12) [Saturday morning]
  3. CULTIVATORS: borrowed creativity (2 Timothy 1:13-14; 2:1-7, 14-26) [Saturday night]
  4. WISE MEN: beyond smarts & cynicism (2 Timothy 3:1-17) [Sunday morning]

Though I did not reference the quote below, it strikes a chord with the tone we set on working hard to courageous build intimacy with others:

Life’s hardships give us a unique perspective. Our relationships grow deeper as we become more honest. “Often, the very part of ourselves that we are most embarrassed by or feel most vulnerable about is the exact gift others need from us,” writes Phileena Heuertz in her book Pilgrimage of a Soul. “Regardness, embracing parts of ourselves is crucial to intimacy.”

Speaking the unsaid isn’t always the verbalizing of our deep feelings. It also takes form in the simple loving expressions capable of breathing new life into our grayed relationships, life-giving expressions, with the power to comfort and heal. Phrases like “please forgive me” or “I love you” or “I’m so proud of you” or “you are special to me” can break down stiff barriers, invite intimacy, and make our brokenness relatable. These actions and words act as steppingstones that lead us to the deeper healing we all want and need, a deeper love.

20120509-070857.jpgAll of which requires a heavy portion of work. As a result, we oftentimes like the idea of getting close to others than the reality of it. Fear stands in our way. We fear rejection. We fear losing the relationship. Afraid of intimacy, our interactions barely scratch the surface, our deeper feelings left alone.

A relationship of intimacy requires courage, the ability to look past uncertainty and see what could be. Courage looks beyond our fears and permits us to express feelings that lead us toward intimacy. It requires courage, for example, to confess to your wife that the distance in your relationship is driving you toward depression or even an affair. It requires courage to loving tell your friend that she’s headed for a fall with her family if she doesn’t make serious changes in her work life. It requires courage to admit and to confront. But “the wounds from a lover are worth it” (Proverbs 27:6).
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What if you had Jedi powers?

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Happy Star Wars Day! (“May the fourth be with you…”)

As I’ve mentioned before, great talent alongside terrible character is a dangerous mix. Evil comes in many forms, often as greed hidden under the cloak of laziness. It looks like a lack of ambition, but is the symptom of something much worse.

Here’s a fun look at what a greedy person may do with Jedi powers:

Description:

“Master Dave just doesn’t feel motivated today. With great power eventually comes great laziness.”

 

Farther along.

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“Farther Along” – Josh Garrels from Josh Garrels on Vimeo.

(RSS readers click through for audio & video.)

Josh Garrels performs his new song “Farther Along” live at the Alberta Rose Theatre in Portland, OR, July 30th 2010. Video footage and editing by Dustin Whitaker.

Portlander Josh Garrels has generously made this album, “Love & War & The Sea In Between,” available as a free download.

The lyrics of Farther Along:

Farther along we’ll know all about it
Farther along we’ll understand why
Cheer up my brothers, live in the sunshine
We’ll understand this, all by and by
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In Tenderness.

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Listen in & sing along:

In Tenderness He Sought Me

1 In tenderness He sought me,
Weary and sick with sin,
And on His shoulders brought me
Back to His fold again.
While angels in His presence sang
Until the courts of heaven rang.

Chorus:
O the love that sought me!
O the blood that bought me!
O the grace that brought me to the fold,
Wondrous grace that brought me to the fold!

2 He washed the bleeding sin wounds
And poured in oil and wine;
He whispered to assure me,
“I’ve found thee, thou art Mine;”
I never heard a sweeter voice;
It made my aching heart rejoice! (Chorus)
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Too busy not to rest.

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Are you really busy?

I hear it all the time, “I know you’re really busy …” and “You must be so busy …” Thankfully, the first quarter of 2012 has been less busy for our family. No less to do, no fewer commitments, and no less pressure, but we’ve enjoyed a renewed commitment to finding the Spirit’s rhythm for our shared life. On facet of this is returning to sabbath rest.

I’ve mentioned the meaning of Sabbath rest before. It signifies more than a weekly day off. Here’s another dimension for how we can live out the implications of God’s design for our taking time to rest each week:

“The purpose of Sabbath rest is not simply to rejuvenate yourself in order to do more production, not is it the pursuit of pleasure. The purpose of Sabbath is to enjoy your God, life in general, what you have accomplished in the world through His help, and the freedom you have in the Gospel – the freedom from slavery to any material object or human expectation. The Sabbath is a sign of the hope that we have in the world to come.”
—Timothy Keller

J.R. Vassar writes on Sabbath rest [an excerpt]:

“The real issue of Sabbath is this: When it comes to the ultimate issue of life, being fully forgiven and accepted by God, our only hope is to cease from our work and trust in His work for us in Jesus. We are not saved by our efforts; we cannot earn our acceptance before God. Our works are not sufficient. We must cease from our efforts and trust in God’s provision. We must rest in Christ and his finished work for us. If we can rest in Christ for the ultimate issue of our life, can we not rest in Him for a day?”

 

Be convinced of this:

While we rest in Him, God works.

 

Down 2,000 again today. Let’s end Malaria’s destruction.

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Did you know that malaria is among the leading causes of child death globally, causing more than 2,000 child deaths a day?

In sub-Saharan Africa, it is the second leading cause of death for children. (That’s a child every 45 seconds. Before you finish reading this post, two more children may die.)

Malaria can be prevented and treated using inexpensive, proven interventions. However, for the hundreds of millions of people, these life-saving interventions remain unaffordable and inaccessible. That’s why Wednesday was End Malaria Day.

The U.S. Congress pledged in 2008 to battle this child-killer by passing the Global AIDS, TB, and Malaria bill (Public Law 110-293) and now it is time to fulfill that commitment. We can do more. Please contact your members of Congress and the President today.  Tell them that we must do all that we can to end malaria deaths by 2015.

Let’s stand together in fighting extreme poverty, global hunger, and disease, for the sake of the world, and because it’s also in America’s national interest. Today, hundreds of thousands of people in Africa and around the world are alive because of America’s historic investment in global health. These cost-effective programs are generating real results. With our leaders/ intentional support, our nation’s impact will continue.

  • Will you join me in asking Congress to fulfill our commitment to battle this leading cause of child deaths? If so, urge our leaders here, in partnership with World Vision.
  • Visit World Vision, Compassion, or GFA and buy mosquito nets (only $10 at GFA).
  • For more on the global fight to end malaria, see Nikki’s reflections (whose words I have borrowed for this blog post).

For example, my message was sent by World Vision to our president, two Oregon senators and our congressman:

  • President Barack Obama
  • Senator Jeff Merkley
  • Senator Ron Wyden
  • Representative Kurt Schrader

Will you join me and many others in asking Congress to fulfill our commitment to battle this leading cause of child deaths? If so, urge our leaders here, in partnership with World Vision.

 

When you’re a control freak (and you just now realize it).

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“Hi. My name is Jeff and I’m a ‘control freak.’ I haven’t tried to assume autonomous control of every aspect of my life for at least the past 30 minutes.”

Urban Dictionary says a control freak is: “Someone who has a compulsive need to control all aspects of his or her own life…”


Nathan Bingham writes:

If we’re honest, there’s a little control freak in all of us. Some have tamed the beast better than others, but every now and then it lurks its ugly head.

I’ve been thinking about what I observe to be man’s almost insatiable desire to control. How should Christians stand apart in this area from the world? As I reflected, I thought of 3 ways in which Christians can crush their “inner control freak.”

Nathan continues:

Remember the Gospel

If you remember the gospel, you’ll crush your inner control freak.

Remember, the bad news of the “gospel” is that you cannot save yourself. You are guilty before a holy God and are without hope within yourself. Redemption is totally outside of your control. However, the good news of the gospel is that another, God Himself, has taken control of redeeming a people for His glory. God is the One who is active in sending His Son to redeem a people. Jesus is the One active in the sense of willingly living, dying, and rising to redeem a people. The Holy Spirit is the One active, like the wind which “blows where it wishes” (John 3:8), drawing a people to the Father.
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Thou shall not commit logical fallacies.

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When it comes to logical fallacies, each of us is part of the problem, or part of the solution.

As the old adage goes, check yourself before you wreck yourself.

From yourlogicalfallacyis.com:

A logical fallacy is usually what has happened when someone is wrong about something. It’s a flaw in reasoning. They’re like tricks or illusions of thought, and they’re often very sneakily used by politicians and the media to fool people.

Don’t be fooled! This website and poster have been designed to help you identify and call out dodgy logic wherever it may raise its ugly, incoherent head.

If you see someone committing a logical fallacy, link them to the relevant fallacy to school them in thinky awesomeness and win the intellectual affections of those who happen across your comment by appearing clever and interesting e.g. yourlogicalfallacyis.com/strawman.

Logical fallacies covered: Continue reading →

 

Why are some Christians such terrible people?

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“The Gospel is the power of God for the beginning, middle, and end of salvation. It is not merely what we need to proclaim to unbelievers; the Gospel also needs to permeate our entire Christian experience.”
—Jim Wilhoit, Spiritual Formation as If the Church Mattered (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Academic, 2008), 27.

Why are their so many Christians who are simply terrible people?

Why the hypocrisy, the gossip, slander, selfishness and sin? Why are self-professing “Christian” businessmen often the most shady ones around? (And terrible drivers while supposedly donning His symbol.) Everywhere we look, it seems everyone lives the same way. Believers are no different, it seems, than the world in marital faithfulness, morality, and convictions. Perhaps you’ve heard of the genesis of the new hit TV show on ABC, GCB, the first two words standing for “Good Christian” and the third word will be up to your imagination [a friend’s take on it, with an answer to this same question].

How can someone claim to to know God, yet proceed to use people to their selfish ends? Indeed, the Apostles asked the same question.

This is the primary question I get asked when talking with people who don’t follow Jesus (and with those who claim they do). Across the board, everyone is perplexed by this. Sure, many ask why a good and loving God can allow so much suffering and evil in this world, and that’s a worthy question to wrestle with (and I have). I love wrestling with that question out loud with people, because it means we are thinking and feeling, and realizing we have very little capacity to change the evil in this world.

Back to the question at hand: Why are there so many bad Christians?

In politics and in war we like to separate people into two groups. Can you guess the two labels we give them?

Yep. The good side and the bad side. There are “good” people and there are “bad” people. We teach our kids this from the first day. Want to guess which side we are on?

So, we ask why do bad things happen to good people? It only happened once.

Let’s rearrange that question: Why do good people do so much bad?

Our hearts remain under the sway of sin until death, and even we who hope in Christ still fall prey to our sinful desires. That makes sense, and I get that. But, still, why are some people painfully unaware of their leachery?

Think of the good side and the bad side. We each have both. No one is all-good (except God), and few are all-bad. We’re a mixed bag, overestimating our good and underestimating our bad. When parents compensate for their kids laziness, greed, and waywardness by not confronting their kids or calling them to maturity, the people spirals out of control. . This happens in our homes and our broader society. That’s why when a lazy person gets let go from their job, he doesn’t get the clue that he was the problem. They were only downsizing, not needing that position” he thinks to himself. “My boss had it out for me from day one,” he reassures himself. It’s all their fault. Really? Perhaps there are situations where this happens, but when we encounter problem after problem, we must ask ourselves is “they” are really the problem. All my problems have one thing in common: me.

Consider the Story

A huge part of the problem is the story we’ve grown up believing. We’re told from infancy — at least here in the West — that everyone is amazing, that our independence is the main thing worth fighting for, and we can do anything we want with our lives! That’s Stuart Smalley’s schtick, but it must not be ours. Is everyone really amazing? If so, then why are we so upset when they appear to no longer be amazing? Let’s keep pretending we are good and do good. Let’s keep pretending that our personal freedoms merely empower us but don’t harm others when we live in greed. Let’s keep pretending that our affluence here in the West has not contributed to the poverty abroad. Let’s keep asking Jesus why He allows so much injustice and pain in this world, but not wait long enough for Him to ask us the same.

Let’s keep being proud and greedy, not calling each other on our foolishness.

Oh wait, that’s what got us into this problem in the first place.
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