Tag Archives: family

We cannot love the world until we stop loving the world.

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“You cannot love the world until you stop loving the world.”
—Kari Patterson, teaching OSU Real Life college students last weekend at Lake Shasta

An idol is anything you add to Jesus as a requirement for being happy. 

There are four common idols: Comfort, Approval, Control, and Success.

Life coming into focus as students enter the waters to be baptized in response to Jesus reconciling them to God

Life coming into focus as students enter the waters to be baptized in response to Jesus reconciling them to God

In teaching about Love, Kari and I explained each of these four as representing the false gods of our age — which then represent numerous others, for our hearts are idol factories. Our flesh is tempted by the world system most clearly in these four common ways.

Each pretend god promises good things but in the end lets us down. It’s easy to see why: we not meant to find comfort, approval, control or success apart from the loving protection and provision of our Creator. He is our Father, and He is good. We need not run to other seemingly “good” things to find satisfaction.

Real life comes into focus as we give up control to receive approval from God the Father, because of the successes of His Son Jesus, who gave up all His comforts for us and for our salvation.

What Do You Love?

Many students asked about this helpful tool, delving into the root desires, fears, and problem emotions, of each idol. Here’s a page from The Gospel Primer on the four common idols (click to enlarge image):

Four idols

As you can see, this discussion on heart idols moves far beyond sin-is-bad-behavior, for even very “good” things can become destructive in our hearts when they take the place of God. Worldliness is anything that steals your full enjoyment of Father’s Love. That’s why we must say we cannot love the world (people, creation) until we stop loving the world (system). Pride, greed and foolishness have not more place in our lives. Let us not tip-toe around worldly thinking and living; let us dive deep into God’s Love.

Love: What the World Needs Now

We taught the weekend’s main sessions tag-team, side-by-side, focusing on asking and answering three key questions:

  1. Who loved you? (on the Father’s Love, our identity in Christ, and receiving His love)
  2. What do you love? (on idolatry and removing obstacles to reciprocating Father’s love)
  3. Who will you love? (on whole-life intercession by relaying God’s love to others)

The first two deal with our relationship with God, yet if we stop there we will only get to thinking about life through this lens: “How will this affect me?” That’s not deep enough. Jesus told the story of the (Good) Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37) to lead us far beyond asking how situations affect ourselves. He desires us to capture His heart and ask: “How will this affect her? How will this affect him? How will this affect them?”

Throughout the weekend we heard leaders comment how nothing was exactly what they expected, and a refrain “this is deep.” The unpredictable weather provided a metaphor and helped us get to the end of ourselves: we cannot control outcomes. Salvation visited those shores, and many crossed the line into the Kingdom. Because Jesus loves us He does more than give us a motivation talk about our missed potential. His words are better than vague, pithy, positive sayings. He heals us by first wounding us. Only through embracing and embodying God’s Love in Jesus can we love as loved ones. That’s the kind of love the world needs now.

Students & leaders at #rlshasta 2014

college students & leaders at #rlshasta 2014

 

The Greenhouse: where the Gospel grows at home.

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As a church family RENEW is venturing through Paul’s letter to the Ephesians. What began as deep, rich theology, has turned the corner to the “practical matters” of life. It’s as if the foundation has been laid, the walls are built, and the fixtures installed. Now we’re living in the house God built, full of grace and truth. He enters every room where life is enjoyed and helps us re-order it around the centerpiece, the Gospel of Grace. Next week is about work, our life vocation, while last week was about marriage. This week is about parenting.

1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise),
3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”
4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
—Ephesians 6:1-4

In our home we want to see these commands obeyed, from the heart. And not just by the kids. We are all children, even us grown-ups. We all have parents, whether living or deceased. We all were children at one time, with good parents, or bad ones, or mostly likely, imperfect parents who did their best and wanted us to become more than they were (with varying definitions of “more”).

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At one time we children stopped obeying our parents, for we grew up and they no longer had authority over us. (Or if your parents were bad and asked you to do things against God’s good and pleasing well, then you had to stop obeying them earlier.) Yet we never stop honoring them. That’s the challenge for us adult kids, to keep honoring our parents, and pursuing creative ways to do that. Just as parents set aside what they wanted to do in order to give us what we needed, now we set aside what we want in order to bless them.

20130701-064554.jpg We’ve nicknamed our house the Greenhouse, partly because it’s green, but mostly because we hope to grow up our “starts” into healthy, thriving “plants.” A greenhouse is an optimal environment which provides everything necessary for growth. There’s food, water, shelter, and yet much more. There’s a healthy — even loving — structure and order of things, with a master gardener who ensures every plant thrives in order to “grow up” and one day grow roots down into other soil outside the safe confines of the greenhouse. It takes nurture and it takes discipline. Both are necessary in a nuanced balance. That’s the essence of “instruction,” which is really teaching. And teaching is more than telling others what to do and believe. Teaching involves a relationship; it means walking alongside others as they learn, and letting them fail in safe ways before — and so that — they succeed. Every teacher will tell you it’s hard yet wonderfully rewarding work. I am learning that good parents are teachers.

Continue reading →

 

Daily slogging.

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Not much time around here to write blog posts. Maybe I’ll gain a vision — or more precisely, carve out some time — to write before Summer arrives. In the meantime, these words from the wise Ray Ortlund, Jr. struck me, particularly as a young pastor simply desiring to be faithful, and especially as father, my first area of shepherding. Parenting and pastoring have a weight of responsibility that makes it all the more necessary to build long-term perspective, and to keep on keeping on, slogging ahead.

Ray Jr. writes about his father’s years and years of faithful service and leading a church, and the influence and depth of relationship they shared. It’s evident Junior as a man has been shaped deeply by Senior the man.

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“I am not impressed by young pastors who seem too eager to publish books and speak at big events and get noticed. They are doing the work of the Lord, and that’s good. But what impresses me is my dad’s daily slogging, year after year, in the power of the Spirit, with no big-deal-ness as the payoff.

This is the pastoral ministry that brings Jesus into the world today. ”
—Ray Ortlund, Jr., “Daily Slogging in the Power of the Spirit“

People often ask how church planting is going. It’s going. Slowly, but steadily and surely, I see RENEW becoming a family of missionary servants, and I see the Gospel of the Kingdom, Grace and the Cross overwhelming their hearts. No one is going to ask me to write a book about our experiences (too soon and too small), yet that’s not what matters in this.

Here’s what matters: Jesus our Senior Pastor is saving and leading His people, and there are many in the city who do not yet know Him. Let them one day tell others there were families in their cities who left the comforts of reputation and ease to form new relationships, recognizing their own brokenness while bringing the good news of Jesus to broken lives. He has made them whole, Jesus has renewed them forever!

Slog on.

 

Son: go back to the old paths, and you’ll find your way.

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Put this in the category of songs every father should listen to.

A music video of “You’ll Find Your Way” by Andrew Peterson from his new album, Light for the Lost Boy:

Listen as a son, listen as a father. Andrew wrote it for his second son Asher. 1

Lyrics: 2 Continue reading →

  1. Behind the Song: (2/15/12 The Warren) Jeremiah 6:16 / Hebrews 10:23 For Asher, second son of a second son. ↩
  2. Words and Music by Andrew Peterson / AP: vocals Jill Phillips: background vocals. Ben Shive: piano, keys, acoustic guitar, electric guitar, string arrangement. Andy Gullahorn: electric guitar. Cason Cooley: bass, keys, percussion. Tyler Burkum: electric guitar. Will Sayles: drums. Eleonore Denig: cello, violin. ©2012 Jakedog Music (adm by Music Services) (ASCAP). HT: JT ↩
 

The end of the world as we know it. (And the boy and I feel fine.)

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Take hope: even if the predictions aren’t true, it won’t be the end of the world.

It will be either mass hysteria or mass sarcasm today as the End of the World comes or passes on 12/21/12.

Whether it’s your last day or simply the first day of winter, let me be the first to mention Kari’s new ebook Plenty is free today for Kindle.

As for our family, 12/21/12 means celebrating the end of the world as we knew it six years ago.

20121221-061504.jpgThat day The Dutcher entered our lives, the boy with the Christmas Day due-date who showed his true colors in arriving four days early. Every since he’s been ahead of the curve. Until today 2012 has been marked by using fractions:

He was five-and-a-quarter by Spring…

became five-and-a-half in the Summer …

then five-and-three-quarters on the first day of Fall…

(and five-and-seven-eighths sometime in there…)

Is a full integer Six today.

LEGO Police Station 7498Our justice-loving boy has been hoping, waiting and asking all year to get the LEGO Police Station #7498. For ages 6-12. Did you read that? Six-to-Twelve!

Thankfully the boy has grandparents who listen well and give generously.

I haven’t had the talk with our son about the significance our society (and the ancient Mayans) placed on this date. He’s simply been learning to count in fractions on the way to whole numbers. No more decimals (for a day), no more fractions (for a season). The boy is an integer whole. Which, as he and I are both learning by experience, is like putting together the pieces of our brokenness on the way to integration — wholeness.

Sometime today this justice-loving father and son will talk about why his wanting to restore order and justice to the LEGO universe is a metaphor for the true Integral One, the Law-Giver and Mercy-Maker who personally came to right all wrongs. He will set everything right on the real Last Day. Everything sad will become untrue.

For starters he and I will busy ourselves building a three-story police station. Hauling off crooks to a holding cell, so they can consider the errors of their ways. Each will be treated with dignity, given a space to repent, and in the LEGO jail anthems of heaven will be happily pounded into their heads. Let’s start with the one our kids call “that whistle song.” Continue reading →

 

Family first?

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“If our highest love is our family, we will ultimately choose our family’s good over the good of other families. If our highest love is our nation, we will choose our nation’s interests and ignore those of other countries. If our highest love is our own individual comfort and happiness, we will choose to serve ourselves over the needs of others. Only if our highest love is God himself can we love and serve all people, families, classes, and races.”
—Jonathan Edwards, quoted in Center Church: doing balanced, gospel-centered ministry in your city, by Timothy Keller

(reminded by Kris Zyp)

 

Most moms and dads think they are either the best or the worst parents around (and both are wrong).

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Here’s a fairly typical example of what gospel-centered attempts at parenting can look like in action (by Kevin Deyoung, a pastor):

Me: What’s the matter son?
Child: I want that toy and he won’t give it to me!
Me: Why do you want the toy?
Child: I don’t know.
Me: What’s going on in your heart when you desire that toy?
Child: I don’t know.
Me: Think about it son. Use your brain. Don’t you know something?
Child: I guess I just want the toy.
Me: Obviously. But why?
Child: I don’t know.
Me: Fine. [Mental note: abandon “why” questions and skip straight to leading questions.] Do you think he is having fun playing with the toy right now?
Child: No.
Me: Really?! He’s not having fun? Then why does he want that toy in the first place?
Child: Because he’s mean.
Me: Have you ever considered that maybe you are being mean by trying to rip the toy from his quivering little hands?
Child: I don’t know.
Me: What do you know?
Child: I don’t know!
Me: Nevermind. [I wonder how my brilliant child can know absolutely nothing at this moment.] Well, I think taking the toy from him will make your brother sad. Do you like to make him sad?
Child: I don’t know.
Me: [Audible sigh.]
Child: He makes me sad all the time!
Me: Well, I’m getting sad right now with your attitude! [Pause, think, what would Paul Tripp do?  Thinking . . .  thinking . . . Man, I can’t stop thinking of that mustache. This isn’t working. Let’s just go right to the Jesus part.] You know, Jesus wants us to love each other.
Child: I don’t know.
Me: I didn’t ask you a question!
Child: [Pause.] Can I have some fruit snacks?
Me: No, you can’t have fruit snacks. We are talking about the gospel. Jesus loves us and died for us. He wants you to love your brother too.
Child: So?
Me: So give him the toy back!

Then I lunge for the toy and the child runs away. I tell him to come back here this instant and threaten to throw the toy in the trash. I recommit myself to turning down speaking engagements on parenting.

Read the whole post, which is encouraging. A couple of lines that stood out:

  • The quip cited by Alistair Begg: “When I was young I had six theories and no kids. Now I have six kids and no theories.”
  • And from Kevin’s church secretary: “Most moms and dads think they are either the best or the worst parents around, and both are wrong.”

Here is Kevin’s upshot:

I just know that the longer I parent the more I want to focus on doing a few things really well, and not get too passionate about all the rest. I want to spend time with my kids, teach them the Bible, take them to church, laugh with them, cry with them, discipline them when they disobey, say sorry when I mess up, and pray like crazy. I want them to look back and think, “I’m not sure what my parents were doing or if they even knew what they’re were doing. But I always knew my parents loved me and I knew they loved Jesus.” Maybe it’s not that complicated after all.

 

Renewal: leading our families in the Gospel.

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School starts next week and calendars are quickly filling.

Does your weekly schedule include: Discipling my children to know and love God?

Although Sunday school, kid’s programs, vacation Bible school, and AWANAs are all awesome, no one has more power to influence your child for Jesus than YOU.

You are the most important person, your home is the most important place, and your daily life is the most important program.

This week at RENEW we’re challenging each other to take steps toward leading our families to Jesus. The husbands and fathers were particularly challenged, but all of us can influence our homes and help create habits that foster faith, love, hope, grace, renewal. We’re not experts, but here are some simple ideas Kari and I collaborated on toward making small starts:

1. A little something done consistently is better than a big bang that fizzles out. Teaching your child just one short verse each week (such as Letter Lessons) is better than attempting an elaborate program only to quit after 5 days and do nothing at all. Our pride and egos tend to push us toward bigger and better and flashier programs and curricula, but small simple steps of meditating on God’s Word, praying, and practicing real everyday faith are more effective long-term. Start small and go the distance.

2. Do something within your gifting. If you love to read, read. If you love to act and play more active games, act our Bible stories with your kids. If you love to play instruments, sing! If your heart is for prayer, pray! Don’t stress too much about having the perfect devotional program, just do what you enjoy and let your joy and passion inspire your children. If you actually enjoy what you’re doing, chances are they will too.

3. Schedule it in. We only actually do what we make a priority. If we think family devotional time will just naturally wiggle its way into our day, we’re dreaming. Again, it doesn’t have to be every single night (although that’s awesome if it is!) but plan 2-3 times a week of intentional family time seeking God. Plan it the way you would a sports practice or swim lessons. Decide what you want to do and schedule it in. Right now is the perfect time, before school starts, to put family devotional time as a priority on the calendar. Make it a priority this year.

4. Find a great resource. Below is a list of family devotional resources. Browse and perhaps buy or download one that works for you. Start by getting a good family Bible. Since most kids are visual learners, and since knowing the Big Story is more helpful than getting bits and pieces of bite-sized morals, let us recommend a few possibilities for a parent-kid-family Bible:

  • The Jesus Storybook Bible: Every Story Whispers His Name, by Sally Lloyd-Jones (also a read-aloud edition, and deluxe edition with audio CD). This one has become our favorite, even though it’s probably aimed for reading to younger kids. I’ve recommended it to many new Christians (even those without kids) simply for getting a grasp of the Story of God, and the Hero — Jesus. The words flow with a poetic cadence, making them memorable, and each story points to who Jesus is, why He came, and what it means to follow Him.
  • The Gospel Story Bible: Discovering Jesus in the Old and New Testaments, by Marty Machowski and A. E. Macha. Each story covers two pages (less pictures and more words), yet told in an engaging style. Each lesson has questions aimed to help kids notice the people and features of each biblical story, and it’s connection to God’s character, His Son, and the Gospel.
  • The Big Picture Story Bible, by David R. Helm and Gail Schoomaker. Another good picture Bible giving the over-arching narrative of God’s story. Stellar illustrations, though you’ll need to come up with your own questions for interaction and inciting wonder.
  • Long Story Short: Ten-Minute Devotions to Draw Your Family to God, by Marty Machowski. This one is more of a plan for daily discussions and lessons, for preschool-to-elementary-aged kids.

We have each of those, having added one a year to give new perspectives. As our kids have become familiar with the biblical narrative and story of Jesus we let them choose a story from two Bibles, and then read them together. It doesn’t take long, and each conversation has the opportunity to take a thousand twists and turns (in the form of questions). We see this as “quantity time becoming quality time.”

A Beginners Guide to Family Worship by Winfield Bevins

One last resource to mention:
A Beginners Guide to Family Worship by Winfield Bevins ($2.99 ebook published by Gospel-Centered Discipleship)

Summary: Every Christian parent can lead their home in family worship — simply coming together as a family and worshipping God in the home. This little book has been prepared as an introduction to family worship and to help you teach your children basic Christian beliefs and to memorize Scripture.

(This ebook is 24 pages, and available in your choice of ePub, mobi, or PDF format.)

Right now is the perfect time to establish godly habits to lead our families to Jesus. I’d love to hear your thoughts, ideas, and resources suggestions for your own family worship times. Thanks so much for reading, and sharing!

 

Who can outrank an ‘ordinary’ Christian?

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THEOLOGY OF SPIRITUAL GIFTS: the general authority of every believer to minister

Every believer is a prophet, a priest, and a king.

We are all prophets (Joel 2:28-29; Acts 1:24). Every believer is to exhort (Heb.3:13), counsel (Rom. 15:14), evangelize (Acts 8:4) and teach (Col. 3:16) with the word ‘dwelling richly’ within. Believer, you must speak!

Every believer is a priest (I Pet.2:9). We all have access to the presence of God, as did the priests of old (Matt. 27:51; Heb. 4:14-16), and have the responsibility to offer spiritual sacrifices and deeds of mercy (Rom. 12:1-2; Heb. 13:12,16). Believer, you must serve!

Every believer is also a king (Rev. 1:5,6). We all have authority over the world (1 John 5:4), over the flesh (Rom.6:14ff), and over the devil (Luke 10:20). We all have divine weapons to demolish strongholds and obstacles to the kingdom of Christ (2 Cor. 10:4-5). Believer you must take charge!

This doctrine is called the ‘universal office’ of believer, and it is nothing short of revolutionary. A layperson ministers in word (as a prophet) and deed (as a priest), and need not wait for a pastor to request it (because he is a king). Jesus himself said that the least in the kingdom of God is greater than John the Baptist (Matt.11:9-11). Who can outrank an ‘ordinary’ Christian? No one! So we see that every lay person1 has the responsibility to initiate, to plan, to guide and to manage ministries of both word and deed. Lay people must not be passive.”2

Tim Brister3 provides a related visual on loving God and others with our head, hearts and hands (corresponding to prophets-priests-kings, respectively:

  1. “Lay person” is shorthand for those who are not “clergy,” that is are not the paid professional ministers Ie.g., pastors) in the local church. Almost everyone is a “layman” or “lay person,” and they the high calling of serving and even leading in the church and the world. ↩
  2. Tim Keller, “THEOLOGY OF SPIRITUAL GIFTS: the general authority of every believer to minister,” in ROMANS Leaders Guide (thanks to my friend Kent Blair for sharing this quote) ↩
  3. “Why I Employ the Triperspectival Framework for Gospel-Centered Spiritual Formation” ↩
 

Know the one Good Story so well you (& your kids) can recognize strands of truth & deception.

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“We want our kids to know the one good story so well that when they see Luke Skywalker, Harry Potter, Frodo, Anne of Green Gables, Ariel, or Sleeping Beauty, they can recognize the strands of truth and deception in them.”

—Elyse Fitzpatrick and Jessica Thompson, Give Them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus, page 120.

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Illustration by Karalee Reinke, via her husband Tony.